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An introduction to starting your own nonprofit

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:17:01 -0600

As the economic slump continues, the number of Americans needing assistance continues to multiply. The need for volunteers becomes more crucial as budgets tighten. Although the struggles of existing non-profits have succeeded in making mainstream media headlines, hope lies ahead.

According to Volunteering in America, a report by the Corpration for National and Community Service, the number of hours being devoted to volunteering is on the rise. Volunteering in America reported, "Nearly 61 million Americans volunteered in their communities in 2007 giving 8.1 billion hours of service worth more than $158 billion to America's communities."

The organization also concluded that "college towns are hot spots for volunteering." The University of Kansas Center for Community Outreach, which reported to have 2,292 registered volunteers, supports 15 different student volunteer-led programs. In addition to its core programs, it the center also works with more than 60 other local programs. Since 2005, the center reported 12, 859 volunteer hours have been served.

Volunteer opportunities on campus seem to be abundant, but sometimes that's just not enough. In the case of Hannah Parkinson, she wanted to do more.

Hannah Parkinson, University of Kansas senior, decided a one time volunteer trip or donation wasn't enough. She started her own nonprofit organization last June after returning from a trip to South Africa. Although Parkinson's story is aspiring, not all are cut our for the job. When it comes to starting your own nonprofit, the to-do list is pretty lengthy. Here is a look at things to consider when contemplating starting your nonprofit.

Getting Started
Before committing yourself, Parkinson says one thing is crucial; you have to want it. "Its really a pain in the butt," Parkinson said. "It's a lot of writing, a lot of planning, but that being said its well worth it."

Candace Vanice founded SILK Empowered in May of 2008. Learn more about her organization and how she got started.

When jump-starting your work as a philanthropist, start with defining your purpose. In this step you should put a lot of though and consideration in to the goals of your organization, both long and short term. You also need to determine your board of directors, who else is going to be involved. There is another crucial task you most complete before moving on to the next step, naming your organization. Although this task may seem simple at first thought, its more challenging than you may suspect.

Tax-empt status
"Nonprofit organizations with charitable, educational, scientific, religious or cultural purposes have tax-empt status under section 501-(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code," according to boardsource.org.

Nonprofit 501(c)(3) organizations exempt from federal income taxes are automatically exempt from Kansas income taxes, according to Hurwit & Associates.

The crucial task for this step is estimating financial status. This step can be very time-consuming and requires attention to detail. You need to include estimates of how much you plan to bring in every year, how much you plan on spending and if paying board members you need to prove the determined salary is fair.

It is normally advised for organizations to wait at least six months before applying for tax-empt status.

Of her experience Parkinson said, "The first couple of months within starting your organization, your family and friends will be excited and overwhelming supportive resulting in a big surge of donations. Eventually this will taper off allowing you to get a more accurate financial estimate."

Action
Now that your non-profit is off and running, it is time to put your hard work into action.

"Literally the way to grow is to meet people every day and talk about it. If you do that the support will come," said Candace Vanice, founder of SILK Empowered. "Support will come as long as your cause is something that is worth while and is needed."

Creating awareness of your organization is crucial to its success. Tactics for creating publicity may include sending press releases to the media, partnering with other organizations, hanging flyers, using word-of-mouth and launching a Web site.

Learn how Candace overcame some of the obstacles of starting your own nonprofit.

While gaining publicity is great for your organization, fundraising is going to be the end determinate of your organization's success.

"There is no point in being a non-profit," Parkinson said, "if you can't raise the money every month. It is important to get the word out there and let people know what you are doing.

The possibilities are limitless as long as the passion is there. "If you have a deep passion for it, you just have to go out, get it done and stay with it."

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Andrew Neubauer apologizes to the great state of Texas

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 18:25:43 -0600

I realize that the title of this blog is a tad bit fraudulent, especially given that I have absolutely no intention to apologize and am merely trying to lull the few people that do read my blog into a false sense of security.

SURPRISE!

This post will, instead of the aforementioned apology, be an enumeration of why my home state of Florida is so much better than Texas, aside from being 27th state to Texas' paltry 28th. Why do I do this, you ask?

Because I am an evil, small, vindictive person. I will use a lot of largely specious reasoning as well. So lets get started.

1. Florida, like Texas, does not levy a state tax on residents. Texas is able to do this because of obscene oil wealth. Florida does this because of the thousands of vacationers and old people who flock to the warmth and love of Florida. You know who beat the communists? Old people. You know who pays for terrorism? Oil people.

2. Florida was discovered during the search for the Fountain of Youth, meaning only one thing. The fountain is actually there and it gives people eternal youth. How many youth fountains does Texas have? None. Just lots of oil and dirt. And oil pays for terrorism.

3. Florida never once claimed it was better than the entire country! Florida loves America and has proven time and time again to be an appropriately patriotic state. Texas hates America and probably apple pie too.

4. If Texas had the opportunity, it would totally punch your mother in the mouth. Texas told me so. Texas also thinks you look really stupid in that hat. That's right old friend. Texas hates your hat and won't even tell you.

5. Saint Augustine is completely made out of shells, which is a totally rockin' feat of engineering. The only feat of engineering Texas had was the bonfire at A&M that killed all those people. Too soon? No, not soon enough. The gloves are off, Texas.

Well, I hope this has been enlightening for you all, it certainly has for me.

Road Rage

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 10:54:27 -0600

So this week I decided to write a blog in the form of a conversation with my best friend.

We will examine traffic safety and road rage. Is it really the other guys fault?...

Yelena: Yes. It is always his fault.

Jessica: Wait, we haven't even presented a situation yet.

Yelena: It doesn't matter what the situation is. I am always right in traffic. Anyone that does something I don't like is automatically wrong.

Jessica: This is a very serious topic. Car's are dangerous, and it is so important that our readers understand how to handle traffic while under pressure.

Yelena: Okay. I very seriously believe that as long as I always have the right of way, traffic is fine. If you cut me off you, well, you just don't want to do that. Trust me.

Jessica: It is driver's like Yelena that you must watch out for and monitor your own behavior against. According to the Kansas Department of Transportation, over 500 people die and over 30,000 are injured in traffic related accidents each year. You must be a defensive driver. You never know what other people can do. A car is a deadly weapon. When you are driving, you have a civic responsibility to other people on the road.

Yelena: Yah, a responsibility not to cut me off. Besides, only the offense scores points.

Jessica: Remember the principles you learned in driver's education? It seems that all too often we forget about those rules, because we become comfortable with our cars and daily routines. It takes tragedy before we respect the road.

Yelena: Yah, Driver's Ed. The class I spent most of my time doing Sudoku in?

Jessica: You did Sudoku while driving?

Yelena: Are you surprised?

Jessica: That is exactly what I am talking about. When people become too comfortable, they start partaking in distracting activities. I even saw one driver eating a steak once; a plate of steak.... with the knife, fork, and everything. This is not funny. This is the reason 5 states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands can all ticket for driving with cell phones... and rightly so. The laws passed because of the horrifying statistics on the matter.

Yelena: I spend an hour and a half everyday going to and from work. An hour and a half!! I couldn't imagine doing that without a cell phone and I-pod. Do you have any idea how aggravating it is to drive next to a huge truck and behind a car going 15 mph in the left lane!? Not only is that costly in gas, it is costly on my sanity. I come extremely irritable, as I'm sure you know Jess.

Jessica: I understand how frustrating traffic can be. It is nevertheless imperative that you consider other drivers. Everyone else is stuck too. Beeping your horn and weaving in and out of through traffic, like Yelena, is not going to make you get there any faster. In fact, 80 percent of drivers surveyed admitted that honking and gesturing does not make them feel any better, according to a recent a Woolcott Research study. Some even said it made them feel worse.

Besides, think about the happy feeling you get when you let someone in and get a little courtesy wave. I am big fan of the courtesy wave.

Yelena: Let someone in? Why would I do that? That would just slow me down. As for courtesy waves, I have a special wave for you ;)!

Jessica: Yelena goes out of her way to stress herself out on the road. Just a pinch of patience. According to a AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety study, aggressive emotion with small-scale outbursts will not improve the driver's ability to overcome and concentrate on the situation.

Yelena: Ok sure, but I don't understand why traffic starts to begin with. If everyone goes a hundred miles an hour and slow people get stopped instead, there would be no traffic.

Jessica: Just because your car can go that fast, does not mean that it ought to. If we all followed the safety basics, we could lessen the amount of accidents and increase the amount of resources available to research fuel-efficient transportation methods. This would decrease traffic levels and alleviate some of the economic hardships we face today. The first step is patience.

Yelena: That's a good idea in theory, but I can't do patience. Do you know what I did after I got my fifth speeding ticket in a three-month period?

Jessica: Please don't tell them that.

Yelena: I never intended to slow down. I got a radar detector instead. Works like a charm.

Jessica: This is going too far. I am talking life and death. In Colorado one summer, my friend drove everywhere we went. He always verbally objected to my seatbelt rule and argued when I asked him to slow down. Luckily for me, my stubbornness usually won the battle. I left for school in August, and in November he died. He was going too fast and was ejected from his car. He died on impact. A guy I met in my geology lab fell asleep at the wheel one night after a long stressful day, he can't walk anymore. I am no stranger to dangers of the road myself. I was in a nearly fatal accident two Christmases ago because I was driving too fast in the rain. I hydroplaned backward at 70 miles an hour on I-70. I consider it an act of God that I am alive. In those split seconds, time stopped, and I realized how precious life is. Please, do not think that you can control the road. In the blink of an eye, you can lose everything you always took for granted.

Andrew Neubauer messes with Texas

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:42:08 -0600

Having always lived in close proximity of extremely boisterous and proud Texans, something has always irritated me: the idea that Texas is somehow inherently greater than any other in the union and perhaps even greater than the entire country. There is even a group that has been trying to get Texas to secede from the union and re-form the Republic of Texas as an independent nation.
These beliefs all stem from the myth of Texas independence that goes all the way back to the state's formation. Texans still believe that the state joined to union out of the pure goodness in their hearts.
As an AMERICAN first and a FLORIDAN/KANSAN second, I feel that it is my sacred duty to set the record straight on the great myth of the Republic of Texas and the state's record as a country.
Texas was not founded by any outstanding, intelligent, or god-like human beings; it was founded as part of a land-grant program when Mexico was in its infancy. The Mexican government allowed the head of any household to claim land in Texas, regardless of citizenship status. American slave owners, anxious to find new places to grow tobacco and cotton, jumped on the free land.
Still a bit sore from Spanish control, the Mexican government outlawed slavery in 1829. Texans were ordered to have all their slaves freed by 1830. Looking to work around the law, slave owners called the slaves "indentured servants for life." The Mexican government tried to stem the rowdy group by banning American immigrants to Texas. The Texas decided to respond in revolt.
When the Texans eventually did win, they immediately asked the United States for entrance into the country. Unwilling to get sucked into a moronic and costly dispute with Mexico (who still claimed the territory was theirs), the US government kindly declined the offer. Unable to enter the country that they desperately wanted to be a part of, Texas formed the republic.

Texas finally entered the union as an overwhelmingly pro-slave state in 1845. In exchange for the US taking on over $10 million worth of debt that the "country" had accrued, the US got territory that became Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Wyoming. Many people think (mistakenly) that the bill that annexed Texas was actually a diplomatic agreement that allowed Texas to declare it independent at any time. This is incorrect.
All this is not to say that Texas doesn't have its share of heroes who rendered heroic deeds. All states do. Sam Houston was a great man. I just wish that Texas would accept that their state is no better than any other.

Andrew Neubauer presents the world of tomorrow!

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:13:31 -0600

In lieu of making any dramatic, sarcastic or deeply probing political statement this week, I've decided to probe the depths of the mind's infinite and make some predictions for the next few years. Do keep in mind that I am clairvoyant and there should be no doubt that all of the things I am about to mention will happen, plus or minus 20 minutes.

1/20/2009 - The Inauguration of our first African-American President, Barack Obama, will have a decidedly awkward tone when, in an interview, Vice-President Joe Biden infers that Obama is "packin'" (his words) a handgun in his belt. While this is merely a gaffe aimed at attracting NRA members to the Obama camp and not a commentary on blacks in America, it does reinforce the view that Biden has no real control of anything that comes out of his mouth. This is scientifically confirmed two months later.

9/18/2009 - Much to Donald Rumsfeld's shock, the International Court of Justice won't accept "it was a teensy goof" as a plausible defense against allegations of war crimes. He spends the rest of his life working off all the community service the ICJ pins on him.

5/3/2010 - Dick Cheney, sick of being viewed as a heartless, evil, egomaniacal madman, begins penning children's books and sing-along albums. Cheney's biggest hit is "Froo-froo Wuvvums and the Snuggly Wuggle Tree," a book about a small boy who finds love and redemption in hugging trees. The irony is said to be palpable.

3/13/2011 - Opting to be a bit more sexist and draconian than in previous years, the religious right pledges they will only give their support to the winner of a GOP mud-wrestling contest. Condoleezza Rice ultimately triumphs over Sarah Palin, and thus gets their mysterious and Mafioso-like blessing. Mike Huckabee, who starts strong, is disqualified for a "party foul" when he knocks over James Dobson's red cup of Natural Light beer.

6/23/2018 - Former Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama team up for the big-budget buddy comedy "In da House." The film spends three weeks at number one in the box office, eventually supplanted by Karl Rove's indie darling, "Eyeball in the Sleep Eternal."

Poptarts and Perezhilton

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 23:26:18 -0600

So sometimes I get a little obsessed. With a certain song, movie, web site, food. You name. Ask my old roommate- September was the month of Oreo Pop Tarts- three boxes a week didn't seem overboard at the time. The past two months have been Perezhilton insanity (Lara can tell you all about that). And the last week I forced my best friend to listen to the new Taylor Swift song on repeat- for three hours straight, needless to say I am currently best friend-less. Ok or not.
But that leads me to wonder about society's obsessions. Take a look at the news stands. Every other story covers Angelina and Brad's every last move. Look at Sarah Palin- election is over, yet the media is still following her every word. Sure sites like my TMZ and my always favorite Perez make this easier. So are people who consume this information just contributing to the never ending cycle?

Its not healthy, we know its not healthy yet we continue regardless. Why? Perhaps the more we know the more we want to know. Is our 24-7 news consumption culture leading us down a path of accepting the most mindless information as 'late breaking' and critical?

Some like associated content's columnist Teri Taylor have a strong opinion one way "come on, America, it's time to grow up and get real lives - lives of purpose, meaning, integrity and character - instead of living vicariously through empty-headed celebrities who don't know or care that you even exist. Pay heed to the words of poet and painter Washington Allston: "Make no man your idol; for the best man must have faults, and his faults will usually become yours in addition to your own."

And others feel completely different."Human nature may share some of the blame," says columnist Helena LaFarve, explaining that people have been tempted by what is tabooed for hundreds of years.

So be it Pop Tarts or celebs maybe we should just follow what a bumper sticker on the car driving in front of me today said "take life in small doses, no need to swallow in one big gulp."

What French fries taught me about diplomacy

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:56:20 -0600

The election is so close that, by this time, every joke has been made, every avenue of humor traversed, and we've effectively roasted each presidential candidate so that he's burned beyond recognition, in a metaphorical sense.

But before we put election 2008 behind us for good, I'd like to pass along one last funny, as it reminded me of the most important quality I'm looking for in a presidential candidate.

My friend Jerome, who lives in Paris, was enlightening me earlier this week as to why most French people aren't fond of John McCain. He listed off some legitimate reasons, and then added that, above all, the French dislike John McCain because he shares the name of a brand of frozen French fries.

Yes, "McCain" is synonymous with frozen French fries in France. McCain also makes other ready-to-eat frozen delights as pizza and fajitas. One of the company's latest products is a line of French fries cut in the shape of smiley faces.

In a country that takes great pride in fine cuisine and four-hour meals, frozen French fries aren't exactly à la mode, and this fact makes John McCain an almost too-easy target for the French.

It's an incredibly stupid joke, but it took me back five years to the start of the war in Iraq and the start of modern French-hating in America, the latter of which, oddly enough, also had to do with French fries.

Back in 2003, shortly before the United States' March 20 invasion of Iraq, France announced its opposition to the war and our intentions in the Middle East. France was not our only ally to refuse support -- Russia and France's fellow EU member Germany were among those who also opposed the war -- but for some reason, France received the most ferocious backlash from the United States.

Soon after France's announcement, two Republican representatives had a stroke of genius and decided to rename French fries "freedom fries" in all restaurants run by the House of Representatives. The proposal was spearheaded by Ohio Rep. Bob Ney, who -- flash forward -- would resign in 2006 because of his role in the Jack Abramoff scandal.

All the brains behind the renaming maintained that it was simply an act of patriotism, nothing more than a way to invigorate the home base. Yeah, nobody bought that line.

The "freedom fries" name change came across as a blatantly petty and childish attempt to bash France and the French during what should have been an incredibly serious and somber time on Capitol Hill.

"Freedom fries" were, in my opinion, one of our stupidest and most embarrassing patriotism games, and we've had quite a few in recent years.

Never mind the fact that the name change didn't make any sense because French fries aren't really French, which most people know as a point of trivia or can at least find out with a few spare seconds and Internet access.

The renaming was most embarrassing because it showed the United States' reckless arrogance. Just because another country didn't agree with our (hasty, uninformed and regrettable) decision to go to war, we could no longer stoop to eating a greasy, floppy potato slice as long as it had the dissenting country's name attached to it. Quelle bêtise.

Here's hoping our next prez, be it Obama or French fries, will make it a priority to bridge the gap that exists between us and France and between us and so many other countries. This is what I hope for, and this is what I vote for.

I can't help but think that, if we could cool it with our wacky attempts to somehow prove our patriotism, international relations would improve a hundredfold.

Is that offensive to you?

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 12:37:56 -0600

Reading a friend's Facebook status this morning informed me about this story that happened shortly after the election. I quickly did a Google search and found out that "a UT football player is kicked off the team because of a racial comment he wrote on Facebook, a social networking site" (CBS News Texas).

The comment you wonder that could have caused him to be removed from the team? "All the hunters gather up, we have a #$%&er in the Whitehouse" (queetry.com).

Wow. I am offended. No Obama was not my choice for president, and for that fact neither was McCain. But a comment like that should have gone noticed by both his school and coaches. Sure networking sites like Facebook allow you to express your thoughts and opinions but where do you draw the line?

I read Facebook comments like "I'm so wasted" and " wow I just broke up with the biggest loser." Other comments ranging from "I hate K State" to "prochoice is the only way." So yes, those are all opinions and yes they may be offensive to some. But when do you cross the line in just offending someone and a comment like the football player made?

Perhaps it is as subjective as the comment itself. Or perhaps since you are willing to put your photos, thoughts and opinions out there you should be ready to back them up.

College Recruiter posted an article recently discussing the legal ramifications of employers using Facebook for background checks. But I take it from the employer's standpoint. If I am looking to hire a trustworthy, reliable worker to head up my new department, I doubt my first choice would be someone doing a keg stand.

This seems....wrong.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:21:01 -0600

Since KU is playing Nebraska this weekend, I shall take this opportunity to point out something very wrong with this state. A law called the "safe haven" law that was passed in Nebraska in July says any person can leave a "child" at a hospital without any charges of abandonment.

This has led to 28 cases, and counting, of people from Nebraska and other states bringing not just little children, but also teenagers to hospitals and just peacing out. I understand that we don't want children to be brought up by parents who don't want them, or it an unhealthy environment, but is this law really the answer? If my parents took me to a hospital and left me when I was 15-years-old, I don't think I would ever recover.

A USA Today article even reports that a man came in and left nine siblings, ages one to 17. This guy is now just automatically relieved of all his parental duties, and is probably out at a bar celebrating that he doesn't have to spend money on diapers anymore. While these kids are sitting at a hospital wondering where their dad is, and what's going to happen to them. That's sick. I don't care where these teenagers are abandoned, it's still abandonement. At this age, they will never be the same.

One 14-year-old girl was dropped off by her grandparents, and then continued to run away from the hospital to Texas, where she was going to get a job. I don't think it sounds like she was in much of a safe haven at the hospital if she is now on the run to Texas.

Luckily an emergency session has been called to look at this law again. Now, some legislators want to change the age limit to three-days-old. Hmm...vast improvement...what a great idea. Why didn't anyone think of this before?

Oh, sweet Palin.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 15:16:46 -0600

Dear Mrs. Palin,
You were cute when you first burst onto the scene; adorable, really. You were that oh-so-ingenious Republican curveball to try to throw off the momentum of the Democratic Party. And throw it off you did. You re-energized the base of the GOP and got them excited to have someone young, exciting, and attractive representing a party that is traditionally represented by pasty, old white men. The sheer height of your miniskirt started a fatwa! Sure, you weren't politically experienced outside of governing a state that essentially runs itself, but no one cared. You were the wild one who would be what Obama had been to the Democratic Party: an exciting shock to the party status quo.

When you opened your mouth you were finally called on being a completely one-dimensional attempt to gain waffling Hillary supporters and guys who are into naughty librarians. It started with the Charlie Gibson interview. You floundered on the Katie Couric interview. You dodged questions at the debate so you could remain on carefully choreographed talking points. You called Obama a socialist, despite your governance over the most fundamentally socialist state in the Union. You winked and acted so cutesy that even die-hard GOPites became sick of you. The lipstick on the pig had faded.

Now, for some reason, you've got it in your head that you're going to run for the presidency in 2012... never mind that this election isn't even over and some polls put you and McCain within single digits of Obama and Biden. The McCain camp appears to be losing grip on the tight leash that you were on.

I think this is a very, very dumb idea, both for the country and for your self-esteem. You have a demonstrably base understanding of domestic, foreign and economic policy and therefore would be an easily manipulated tool of the extreme right (much in the vein of our mutual friend President Bush). I submit, Mrs. Palin, that you would end up either as a figurehead with a rubber stamp or a lightning rod of hate like Mr. Bush has become. You really wouldn't want the hell that that poor man's life has become.

Have you ever considered a career in professional bull wrestling?

Love, Hugs and Moustache Kisses,
Andrew.

Ignorance is pricey bliss

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 23:40:51 -0600

Standing in a Paris bank last June, I knew something wasn't right. I had just swapped the $500 cash I'd brought from home -- money earned through many grueling hours in the Stauffer-Flint newsroom -- for just around 300 euro.

I had expected $500 to last me for at least one week of sightseeing, dining, public transportation and shopping in Paris. I ended up using my credit card by the fourth day.

It was a surreal experience, watching the value of my money arbitrarily evaporate within seconds and being able to do nothing but stand there, dumbfounded and awkward. I had no idea the American dollar was so weak in Europe. I look back on it now and can't help but think this experience was probably very much like what a lot of people faced in the recent economic collapse.

But just as the dollar's fall from grace in Europe couldn't have happened overnight, the country's recent economic woes could not all have unfurled overnight, or even over just a few months, for that matter.

I did a quick Google search for 2008 economy warning signs, and it turns out the mainstream media reported many warnings about the possibility of an economic crisis. A December 2007 article on the Wall Street Journal's MarketWatch.com made me feel outrageously out-of-touch, as it flat-out states, "Everyone knows the U.S. economy is teetering on the edge of recession in the next year, but no one knows if it will tip."

I suspect many Americans were like me, and didn't take notice of our country's economic situation until it hit painfully home. Not to say the blame for this mess rests on the people who lost their nest eggs, or that the outcome would have been miraculously different had we all been religious readers of MarketWatch.com. We just might not have felt as dumb because we were caught thinking everything was peachy keen.

My ignorance regarding the economy was the most recent reminder of a flaw I've known about myself for a long time: I don't pay attention to news that doesn't appeal to my superficial interests, no matter how relevant it is to my life.

Yes, USA Today has a Money section, but it's just the one that always comes before the Life section. Just as I didn't bother to look up the dollar to euro exchange rate before going to France and instead researched trendy Paris hangouts, I also never bothered to pay attention to money -- something that, for better or for worse, permeates every aspect of our lives -- and instead read about Nicole Richie's baby bump and Yoda, the four-eared cat.

So where do I go from here? I'm one of the lucky ones graduating in December, and although everyone's in a panic over how December grads are going to find jobs amidst this crisis, that's not really what I'm worried about. I'm worried about how I'm going to finally shake this Midwest scene as I've been planning to do since, oh, about age 14.

The disastrous economy undoubtedly hinders my ability to just pack up and go, especially because where I want to go is a bit pricey. I know there are jobs there. It's just a matter of getting/being there.

I crave sunshine, warmth, a new beginning. But when icy, confining January comes, I will be in Kansas still, a prisoner to immobility like every year before.

The best solution just might be a one-way ticket back to Paris. Wherever I end up, one thing is certain: I'll at least be skimming the Money section of the newspaper from now on.

The impending death of cable

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:19:31 -0600

The analog TV is dead. Its funeral is in February 2009. With the passing of the grandfather of television the death of cable is not too far in the future.

With the growth of online sources for television shows it is not unreasonable to speculate that in the near future people may start to abandon the cable altogether and only keep their Internet connection. Already, stories are circulating on the net of those brave pioneers who, armed only with a Netflix membership and a laptop have forgone the coaxial tether.

Why would people still keep a cable connection anyway? Every HDTV you can lay mitts on these days has at least DVI, VGA or HDMI connection, usually two of the three. With these connections you can hook up a new HP Slimline computer or Apple TV, designed specifically for the task, and have the Internet on your TV in all of its streaming goodness.

Heck, you don't even need to buy a new computer to do all of this. Any of the three new video game consoles will do. With the Wii or PS3 you can stream your own downloaded content to the built in browser from any computer using Orb. Microsoft is about to debut a new update for their Xbox 360 that will stream HD videos straight off of the Netflix servers and into your TV. That, as they say in the video game world, is a fatality for your cable provider.

While it may still be a bit premature, I would be getting pretty nervous if I were a cable operator. The best hope may be that customers still need cable Internet to get to these new sources, but with Verizon and AT&T moving into the Internet business and both offering faster services than most cable companies, there is no guarantee that the Internet only customer will stick around.

Socialism as a 4-letter word.

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 10:48:32 -0600

Sophomore year, I gave a presentation in my German class about the healthcare system of Germany. My teacher was a real live authentic Berliner, so he was theoretically the best suited to teach the class (He was an excellent teacher). However, during the presentation, I made one cataclysmic mistake.

I called the German government "socialistic".

Needless to say, this infuriated my teacher, who rabidly pointed out that Germany is not a socialist country and that there was not even the slight wiff of socialism in Europe.

I amended my presentation to say that Germany had modeled their healthcare system off the Clinton Plan (a decidedly socialist program). Even though I was inferring that Germany had adopted a decidedly socialist healthcare plan, it was the word "socialism" that earned my teacher's ire.

There is absolutely no denying that most capitalist countries today exhibit very socialist traits. With Bush's recent nationalization of banks, it seems even our bastion of Adam Smith-like utopia could fall to the scourge of Bolshevism.

Рональд Рейган продолжает схватку масс пролетариата!

I'm being sarcastic, of course. Even if we don't want to admit it, our country has had socialistic tendencies for years. Socialism as it's practiced in the modern world is merely the offspring of the Second International - that is to say that socialism is the practice of government intervention to regulate and maintain free market and the citizenship (social democracy). We see this every day of the week - the government regulates business and taxes the people; social security gives money to the elderly; public education and unemployment benefits aid those who are between jobs. Socialism has existed in Germany since the 19th century when the Social-Democratic movement picked up steam.

But why does the mere word "socialism" inspire such anger in people? I choose to blame Karl Marx and Joe McCarthy equally. Both men fanatically believed that socialism was intrinsically linked to communism and the destruction of democratic social norms. Both men were quite vocal to this point.

It is at this point that I must say that I in no way advocate the Third International's conception of violent revolutionary socialism or communism. I'm just trying to point out that our system of government is already socialistic. The concept of socialism is the idea that the government should be beneficial to everyone. This doesn't run contradictory to our great democracy at all.

Hell, wasn't it the great Commissar Reagan who furthered the idea of earned income tax credits?

The economic crisis that wasn't

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:31:19 -0600

The only good thing about not having any money is that you have no money to lose.

While most of the adult world shrieks in terror as the markets plummet by 40 percent, those of us with no investments simply snicker knowing that we will likely come out ahead in all of this mess.

The absolute worst that the average college student could expect from this collapse would be that when the credit market dries up they will have a hard time getting student loans. Despite how much has been made of the credit crash, it seems that Congress and the Federal Reserve will not let things get that bad. This leaves us with a market that is kind to students who aren't graduating in the immediate future.

In part because of the falling gas prices, a blessing in and of themselves, prices of food and other essentials -- read: pizza and beer -- are dropping slowly as well. The last few years have seen an increase in inflation and the cost of living that disproportionately targeted college students (since most of us don't own property, whose value was also increasing and helped to off-set the cost of living increases). Now the talk if of possible deflation and that should please most college students.

Deflation improves the value of savings, presuming that you have any. But, more importantly for college students, it increases the buying power of your paycheck. Large scale deflation will likely mean that when you go out looking for a job that you will be paid less, but you will be able to buy more with that less. The two should, ideally, cancel each other out. In the here and now you might be able to afford another round of Woodchuck hard cider.

Finally, as an added bonus, by the time you have graduated, found a job and are looking to buy a house, the market will have stabilized, God willing, and you will be able to get more house for less money. Much less money. In some popular job locations home prices have dropped around 40%. Great news. Next us college kids can be home owners and face financial ruin alongside the rest of the country/world.

Andrew Neubauer buckles down and solves the economic crisis.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:37:04 -0600

There is no way to get around this: our economy is flagging, failing and collapsing all around us. People seem to be convinced that this is the end of our great nation.

Students, often victims of high-interest loans and substantial credit card debt, find themselves most at risk of our faltering economy and the limited post-graduation job prospects. Some students can't even afford to go to college.

Some so-called economic "experts" say that there is no easy fix for this broken economy and the doom that it seems to be spelling.

Andrew Neubauer, however, sees only tremendous opportunity.

The freezing of the commercial paper market, the rabid decline of the dollar, the credit default swap fallout, and the home lending crisis can all be solved with my patented quick-fix: we need to convert to the simpler, sweeter time of the SOVIET UNION!

Think of all the great things associated with Mother RUSSIA! You don't have to think! The party will do all of that for you! You don't need to worry about housing! You can live in a Glorious People's Hovel of Revolutionary Pride and Freedom! Money is irrelevant, because the only thing you need to do is work on the communal farm for the party! You wouldn't even have to think! In fact, if you do, you'll probably end up in a salt mine of some sort.

The best part of this plan is that it works at all levels because literally any problem can be solved by the government dominating every aspect of your life.

Am I serious? No, not really. Do I see the US as completely doomed? No, probably not. The greatest thing about this nation is the full-scale adoption of creativity and out-of-the-box thinking that has allowed us to extricate ourselves from this sort of thing before (see: 1930s, 1970s). Are we, the future generation of this country, being made to take the biggest hit from the irresponsible actions of those who looked to make a quick buck? Yes. As a nation, we will recover from this, but the heaviest burden will be laid on students who took a chance on the education they couldn't afford. The future of our country all too often is sacrificed in the now.