I’d been thinking of what I could possibly do for a “free swim vlog” and decided to sleep on it. As I was drifting off, a line from The Simpsons came to mind: “I’ve always admired your tart honesty and ability to be personally insulted by broad social trends.” In this case, Principal Skinner was speaking with Edna Krabapple, but the person that immediately came to my mind was Andy Rooney.
What would Andy Rooney think about video blogging?
I have zero experience in acting, but figured that I had better get in the right mindset before filming: crotchety and confused. No better time to try this than first thing in the morning before having a chance to shower or fully wake up. I smear Pomade through my hair before parting it, button up a dress shirt and jacket—normally any one of these things is plenty to put me in a foul mood—and hit record. Oh yeah, I’m also battling a head cold. I’d practiced my Rooney impression for a good five minutes over the last couple days, and generally come off sounding like some bizarre amalgam of Gilbert Gottfried, Dennis Miller and Beavis.
My dogs seemed fairly certain that I had completely lost my mind, and kept their distance. So…you have been warned. Hit “play” and there will be nothing you can do to get those 90 seconds of your life back. Enjoy, and for God’s sake, please don’t let anyone outside of this class see this. Ever. Seriously. Thanks.