So I went back to my hometown this weekend, and broke the news to my family that I'm going to be at KU another year. Fortunately for me, I'm still getting [on time, in four years] the first two degrees I originally set out for, French and Journalism. However, I decided that I wanted to pursue graduate-level Economics, and in order to do that, I might as well major in it first, which will take 32 more credit hours, or two more semesters of work. They were all in support of that plan, for they believe in serial education, which I suppose is a cool thing.
And of course, during this mildly momentous discussion with my family, the question was broached, "What do you want to do with that?" And, having been raised in a family of salesmen and socialites, I was able to lay down some BS covering fire for a few moments, which seemed to satiate their curiosity. Then they asked, "What are you going to do this summer?" They were assuming I would be pursuing some sort of financial internship that would help catapult me into the world of economics. And that's when things got awkward, because for the second summer in a row, I'm going to work at my church. And, having been raised in my family of salesmen and socialites, to them working at a church does not qualify as a "real" job. Nor does it qualify as a "job" job. What it does qualify as is a juvenile pursuit of foggy ideals equivalent to volunteering as a roady for the String Cheese Incident. So they winced. And they argued it was a waste of time. And they encouraged me with stories of my peers and their peers who had chosen the road more traveled and who now were "really doing well! [financially!]" And I was stubborn, and disagreed with them.
And while that moment came and passed, and while half of my family later came up to me individually, saying they supported whatever I chose to do (which I truly appreciated and needed to hear), that discussion got me thinking, "Why am I working at a church this summer?" And that question got me wondering, "What am I going to become later on in life?" And at that point I thought of what I had heard from Isaac Anderson, the pastor at my church. Isaac had said (borrowing much from Louie Giglio) that what we do in our twenties isn't so much about what we become in the future, but it's more about who we become in the present. In effect he's saying, it's not about what you become, it's who you become. Furthermore, you can go to the right school and you can get the right job and you can move to the right city and you can marry the right person, but the whole time you can be the wrong person. You can do all the right things but have the whole wrong mentality about it.
And that's when I realized why I'm interning at this church again. It's exactly because I don't know what I'm going to become. It's because I don't know where I'll be in five years, let alone one and a half. It's because I don't know what city I'll end up in, and it's because I probably haven't met my future wife yet. I can't control any of those factors at this point. Someday I will, but not yet. And until then, the only thing I can control is who I am, who I become.
And from that perspective, working at my church is the best possible thing I could be doing with my time. It gives me the chance to seek God earnestly, to explore leadership, to learn from families and to mentor their kids. It gives me the chance to rock out on electric guitar and to sing my lungs out with my friends. It gives me a chance to experience candidness and humility. Most of all, it gives me three months where my biggest focus is God. And in this loud, noisy world, with infinite voices yelling at us all to do and be and run and buy and live and drink and achieve, three months of focus are worth more to me than all the other internships and opportunities this summer could yield.
Comments (3)
Well, okay, here's an idea: Maybe your summer internship shouldn't just be about you. Sure, Jesus had his 40 day self-improvement
seminar in the desert, but then he got on with his work.
Actually "doing something" doesn't have to be about making connections in the financial world--it doesn't have to be crass and commercial. I just looked at the FEMA Web site. Guess who's still hiring? You want to do some good? You want to put the "Christ" back in "christian"? I'm thinking there are at least a dozen better ways to serve the church than just hanging out in one.
Just an idea.
Posted by Ryan McG. | August 28, 2007 9:04 AM
Posted on August 28, 2007 09:04
Ryan, I appreciate what you have to say. And in some respects, I totally agree. Christians cloistering themselves in a community is a very real problem. I am frustrated with many of my fellow Christians isolating themselves and then preaching at the rest of the world. If we want to be Christ, we certainly can’t be sitting on the sidelines (or up in the skybox) watching those less fortunate struggle through life. Christ never did that; he was always eating with those the establishment considered “unclean†or unworthy. The same judgmental and holier-than-thou attitude that we read about the Pharisees espousing in the Gospels we can sometimes unwittingly find ourselves doing today.
And I agree with you that doing good does not have to come from within a church, and I’m glad you brought it up. Some of the “best†Christians I know don’t work in a church, nor do they work for a non-profit. While both of these pursuits are commendable and necessary, we’re doing ourselves a disservice by assuming they are they only routes to the betterment of self and others.
However, at this stage in my life, working at this church is a great opportunity. The church I’m working at right now is a non-denominational church called Heartland Community Church in Overland Park, and it is fundamentally different from the church I grew up in. Right now, Heartland has multiple inner-city outreaches and places a great deal of emphasis on international and poverty awareness. They focus on loving God and loving others, which is a central teaching of Christ. In contrast, my hometown church is building a new sanctuary for $1.5 mil. It is almost entirely unnecessary, as our current sanctuary isn’t even filled on Sundays, and it seems to simply be a ploy to draw people into attending.
Being surrounded by a loving community has been and will continue to be formative for me. And about my summer internship not being about me, that’s the whole point. Working at this church is the type of environment I need to forget about my desires and concerns for the future. It’s a place where I can focus on others and learn leadership skills that will make me a better economist or whatever I become. Thanks for the comment. You touched on some issues I’m very passionate about.
(And yes, Kerry, I did think of you as I wrote passionate)
Posted by Will McCullough | August 28, 2007 11:46 AM
Posted on August 28, 2007 11:46
Will,
As someone who decided to follow the path less taken right out of college (I spent years playing, recording, and touring in bands while working minimum wage jobs--despite the fact that I had earned a bachelor's in journalism)...I just wanted to say that you really shouldn't worry too much about it.
You clearly have your head on straight if you're leaving with three majors--and your fields are very "marketable," so I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding "serious" work when the time comes.
For now, though, I'd highly recommend that you enjoy the decisions you've made (no use in constantly second-guessing). My 20s were a very difficult time in many ways (no real job security, lots of worrying about the future)...unfortunately, some of that never changes. However, that also was a time of incredible freedom.
You'll have plenty of time to make enough money to support yourself (and, of course, there's nothing wrong with that), but you're right--it's best to spend this time figuring out who you are and what you hope to be rather than simply takig on all of the "required duties" like a zombie.
Sometimes I do regret that I didn't make a lot of money in my 20s (like some friends did)...but many of those friends, now in their mid- to late- 30s, are having the "crisis" I already went through (they have the money, the house, the cars, but they still feel empty)...so you might as well do what you want to do and be happy with it.
Posted by Ranjit | August 28, 2007 12:05 PM
Posted on August 28, 2007 12:05