New Morrisburg, GA.- The famed Coors Light Train rumbled through the annual match-up of cross-town rivals New Morrisburg Tigers and St. Francis Wildcats Saturday afternoon, killing hundreds as well as refreshing thousands of surviving fans.
With the O’Jays classic 70’s recording of “Love Train” blaring over the PA and temperatures reaching triple digits, experts have referred to the Saturday’s incident as a tragedy of “monumentally coincidental circumstances,” reported an AP source.
Coors Brewing Co. held an official press release this morning, stating, “Coors Brewing CO. cannot be held responsible for the actions of the Coors Light Party Train. We pack it to the seams with the coldest, most refreshing, frost brewed beer in the world, but we cannot predict what will happen when it arrives at whatever destination is in need of instant relief from the heat, and most importantly, in need of instant relief from thirst.”
Memorial services for the victims will be held at St. Francis Church in New Morrisburg Thursday Morning. Refreshments will be sponsored by Coors Brewing Co.