Samuel Knowlton: October 2007 Archives

Hi, I'm Sam, and I'm an addict. Or, I was.

Way back in the pay-per-hour days of America Online, circa 1994, I used to run up ridiculous bills playing an online multiplayer game – I was addicted to it.

And back in my day, we didn't have fancy graphics. Our fantasy scrolled on in line after line of text. Imagination worked overtime conjuring images of spells and knights and trolls. It was like living in a J.R.R. Tolkien novel, but ten times more engrossing, because there was no end.

That was the Golden Age. But the fantastic collaboration of so many imaginations began to break down, as one by one the imaginations fell victim to greed and became zombies.

What happened? Instead of manually typing in commands, players replaced their own input with a scripting program.

Then they'd leave their computers while their in-world characters performed endless chains of commands, returning to find a stronger, richer character.

But character by character the world became weaker and poorer. There was no one left to interact, no one to roleplay.

The rise of scripting eventually eroded the quality of the experience so much that the whole point of the game—to have fun imaginative experiences—was lost.

Well, it's 2007, and 3D graphics have replaced text and the thousands have turned into thousands of thousands. But, surprisingly, the spread of zombies continues throughout online worlds.

When I log into Second Life, I see droves of avatars that appear viable in world, but are, in fact, "zombies." What are they after now? This time, it's real money.

10,000 Lindens was about $35 the last time I checked. With camping benches that pay just 2 Lindens every 10 minutes, it would take about 34.7 days to get 10,000 Lindens.

35 bucks a month isn't too bad a deal.

But imagine if you had 10 different characters logged into Second Life. Imagine if you had 100.

I'll take $3,500 a month. Hell, I'll even quit my job. Sure, it's a bit dramatic, but this motivation is real.

And this motivation spawns millions of avatars that have no actual mind behind them. They're asleep. Zombies.

And they hold the potential to erode Second Life like any other online world.

There will always be a place to find richly textured characters in Second Life, but they are truly going to be the diamond in the rough, and active users will have to seek them out one at a time. Meanwhile, millions of avatars will be collecting their paychecks, 2 Lindens every 10 minutes.

When I get on the Internet, I'm only looking for three things: gadget news, celebrity gossip, and pictures of cute kittens.

If I come across anything even flirting with seriousness, I close my browser. Why would I want to read anything serious when I can read about unsubstantiated celebrity rumors, some guy's opinion of the iPhone, or gaze contentedly at the hypnotic allure of cute kittens?

I mean, we only have so much time in this world, and I want to get as much meaning into my life as possible. No news, no politics, no activisim. Yuck!

I know that we all feel the same way about this, but did you know there is a growing group of people who are using the Internet for such depraved diversions like news and opinion?

Thankfully, few of them have infiltrated the storied halls of Technorati's most popular blogs. But one has.

I mean, we all remember the formula, right?

Celebrities and/or technology and/or cute kittens = $$$ and/or fame and/or glory

Adhere to the formula, ye faithful, and blogosphere stardom will be yours.

And hopefully, if we flood the Web with enough cute kittens. celebrity rumors, and gadget news, we'll drown out all of this ridiculous noise and preserve the true purpose of the Internet.

By the people, for the people, and of the people. Oh, and, on occasion, a cute kitten or two.