First, a whore must have a product. You can't just be some web-toed, two-toothed, ho with the clap. You've got to be Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman with an affinity for taking it every which way, and do all the things the other hoes on the block won't do. It's got to be new, original, and unique.
That's how A-list blogger Perez Hilton got ahead. With a snide bitchiness, and a desire to "out" celebrities' dirty laundry, he took to the net with a doodle pen and a Mac. He was willing to talk about the closet cases, the sluts, and the divas (and divos) of Hollywood when no other blog was feeding that need.
Second: Advertise, advertise, advertise. Just as a hooker might have a calling card and word of mouth from her johns, you've got to network your ass off. Get other bloggers to link to your blog, link to your fellow hoes, tell people about it on Myspace. The funny thing is, hookers and bloggers alike are advertising on Myspace.
The top rated blog on the Internet, engadget.com, has gotten where it has today (besides its geeky subject matter) because it devotes a lot of time to linking to the right companies, websites, and other tech-blogs. They have a whole section of their website devoted to networking and linking to other sites.
Third, a good blog-ho must have a lot of time on their hands to feed the beast at any moment of the day. Just like a hooker with ten pagers, you've got to update constantly. We, as Americans are raised with different severities of ADD and in order to accommodate that (rather than combat it) we simply write several short stories in a day. This way people can check blogs on the fly.
Just like a good hooker, looks don't last forever, tastes change, and you aren't getting any younger. The most important thing to remember as an A-list blogger is that popularity can wane and an A-list blog can easily be replaced by the new girl on the block.
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