Steve Jobs Eats Babies

So, I was reading Revelations in the Bible last Tuesday, as I do every Tuesday, and I believe I've come to my own epiphany: Steve Jobs is the Beast of the Sea, the False Prophet, the Antichrist.

Only a deal with the devil could put your whole life into a small device with an eight-hour battery and exactly thirteen babies' souls. Neat! And now it comes in 16 gigs of memory.

The great thing about Steve Jobs (and I'll get to the point soon, I promise) is that, though his deal with the devil has inevitably sealed his soul in Hell for all eternity, the hand basket he'll be riding down will have sleek titanium walls, will be thinner, lighter, and have GPS.

Say what you will though, people are on top of their news and media more now than ever before. My friends went on a spur-of-the-moment road trip last week and without so much as packing a bag or hitting up Mapquest, they grabbed a handful of underwear, their toiletries and their iPhones.

Fifteen minutes on the road and they had their trip mapped out, weather conditions for the next three states, and traffic conditions for the next 300 miles, all while listening to ABBA in full stereo (I know, real geigh).

With information so readily available, where goes the news media? Will I want to look at Katie Couric's annoying-ass face anymore? Not if I can help it. In fact, with $400 I'll never see her again.

I don't think the iPhone or any other PDA/cell phone will ever replace ALL media, just certain aspects. You can get your news 24/7 but who do you think is bringing it to you? It certainly isn't Steve Jobs, he's shopping for sex toys so he can ready himself to be Hitler's lady friend. The news will now and forever (a very long while), be brought to you by reporters.