My 12-step year plan for graduation

A short history of my relationship with college:

1. Enroll at KU as a bright-eyed, hopeful and relatively naïve freshman.
2. Drop out of KU as a hopeless, still really naïve sophomore.
3. Mow lawns for a living, lose some serious weight.
4. Be a homeless wanderer for a summer.
5. Deliver pizzas, gain 20 pounds. Dammit.
6. Go to JCCC, because it's the poor man's way to get KU credits out of the way.
7. Rediscover love of writing through The Campus Ledger.
8. Move to Costa Rica.
9. Fall in love.
10. Make attempt at longest engagement in history before actually getting married.
11. Come back to KU, prodigal son style.
12. Turn 30, then graduate from KU as a hopeful cynical curmudgeon.

That last step might be a little preliminary; I have one summer class to go before earning my degree. But it's just one class, so what can go wrong? If this were a movie, we'd now do the groovy flash forward into the future and see just how prophetic my statement was. I imagine something like an angry group of peasants with pitchforks and firebrands storming Stauffer-Flint while I stand in its tower, hurling obscenities down on them, challenging them to end my unholy reign.

I have an overactive imagination.

I make a lot of jokes about how long it has taken me to get this far. I'm really quite satisfied with my path though. The above time line isn't arbitrary. Something wonderful has happened at each of the odd stops along my winding road to the here and now. Even pizza delivery had a particularly important role to play in my development. That's a story for another day though.

For now, thank you fellow students, readers, professors and multimedia newsroom coordinators. You folk need a catchier title.

For some of you, this is a goodbye. For the rest, this ride's not quite done yet. Please keep your hands and feet in the car until it comes to a complete stop.